Our Returns Policy, Explained With Hissing

At Scratch and Sniff Candle Co, we try to keep things simple, which means we complicate them and then take a nap.

The old guard prefers a warehouse mostly made of boxes. The new guard prefers whatever is on the other side of the door.

The Short Version, Told Slowly

If you take only one thing from this, take this: a loyalty program that pays in headbutts is not a bug. It is the product.

We asked a customer for feedback. They looked at us, blinked slowly, and left a single hair on the form.

In summary: act confidently, deny everything, and always keep a clear route to the nearest box.