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Tag: shipping
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Holiday Hours: Whenever the Sun Moves
Every client eventually asks us the same thing, and the honest answer is always a long, flat stare.
Naturally there was a committee. Naturally the committee was a pile of boxes, and naturally one box was occupied.
The Short Version, Told Slowly
The old guard prefers a shipping department located under the couch. The new guard prefers whatever is on the other side of the door.
If you take only one thing from this, take this: a warehouse mostly made of boxes is not a bug. It is the product.
If you have questions, our office hours are three to four in the morning, or whenever we feel like it.
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Behind the Scenes: The Great Inventory Count
Nobody tells you this when you start out, but the real work begins around a warehouse mostly made of boxes.
The old guard prefers a warehouse mostly made of boxes. The new guard prefers whatever is on the other side of the door.
The Short Version, Told Slowly
Our standard approach involves a returns policy enforced by staring, followed by a loyalty program that pays in headbutts, followed by a brief and unexplained sprint.
If you take only one thing from this, take this: a shipping department located under the couch is not a bug. It is the product.
As always, results may vary, fur may transfer, and the management accepts no responsibility for the hairball.
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Announcing Our Loyalty Program (Treats Required)
We have been doing this for what feels like nine lives, and we are still not sure who is in charge.
Our team did a careful study. By study we mean someone knocked it off the table to see what would happen.
The Short Version, Told Slowly
If you take only one thing from this, take this: a warehouse mostly made of boxes is not a bug. It is the product.
Naturally there was a committee. Naturally the committee was a pile of boxes, and naturally one box was occupied.
That is all for now. We are told there is a sunbeam going to waste, and a professional never lets that happen.
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Why Everything We Sell Ends Up on the Floor
A reader wrote in this week with a question that deserves a serious answer, so here is an unserious one.
Our team did a careful study. By study we mean someone knocked it off the table to see what would happen.
The Short Version, Told Slowly
Experts agree that a loyalty program that pays in headbutts is essential. Experts also agree that this is a very long way of asking for a snack.
Our standard approach involves a loyalty program that pays in headbutts, followed by a returns policy enforced by staring, followed by a brief and unexplained sprint.
In summary: act confidently, deny everything, and always keep a clear route to the nearest box.
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Our Returns Policy, Explained With Hissing
At Scratch and Sniff Candle Co, we try to keep things simple, which means we complicate them and then take a nap.
The old guard prefers a warehouse mostly made of boxes. The new guard prefers whatever is on the other side of the door.
The Short Version, Told Slowly
If you take only one thing from this, take this: a loyalty program that pays in headbutts is not a bug. It is the product.
We asked a customer for feedback. They looked at us, blinked slowly, and left a single hair on the form.
In summary: act confidently, deny everything, and always keep a clear route to the nearest box.
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Shipping Updates From a Warehouse Full of Boxes
At Scratch and Sniff Candle Co, we try to keep things simple, which means we complicate them and then take a nap.
The old guard prefers a warehouse mostly made of boxes. The new guard prefers whatever is on the other side of the door.
The Short Version, Told Slowly
Naturally there was a committee. Naturally the committee was a pile of boxes, and naturally one box was occupied.
We asked a customer for feedback. They looked at us, blinked slowly, and left a single hair on the form.
As always, results may vary, fur may transfer, and the management accepts no responsibility for the hairball.
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How We Choose Our Products (A Cat Sits On Them)
A reader wrote in this week with a question that deserves a serious answer, so here is an unserious one.
If you take only one thing from this, take this: a loyalty program that pays in headbutts is not a bug. It is the product.
The Short Version, Told Slowly
Naturally there was a committee. Naturally the committee was a pile of boxes, and naturally one box was occupied.
Our team did a careful study. By study we mean someone knocked it off the table to see what would happen.
That is all for now. We are told there is a sunbeam going to waste, and a professional never lets that happen.